Irina Maria, 19
"...my parents decided to go to France for treatment... I spent one year away from my entire family, my friends and my boyfriend."
Hello, I’m from Romania and I want you to know that no one is alone through this.
My story story started in November 2017. I was diagnosed with Ewings
Sarcoma after long times of searching about what’s going on with my
body and receiving no answer. I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t stay on
a normal chair, my back hurt me so bad by the point I fainted and
I went to the capital of my country, where they operated on me to
see my back in more detail, consequently I discovered that I have
Ewings Sarcoma on my 10th rib. My country couldn’t guarantee me an
optimal chance of survival, so my parents decided to go to France,
where they have given to me optimal chances. I spent one year away from
my entire family, my friends and my boyfriend.
I had a rough chemo which caused my hair to fall out, a lot a pain all
over my body, and it made me so tired that I couldn't even go to the bathroom.
So you can imagine how hard it was to be alone, without anything to do and
feeling so so bad. I had to eat a lot to gain a lot of kilos to be strong.
My body has changed, it looked like a boy’s body, without any curve, just full
of fat. My skin became so dehydrated and black. I always had headache because
my brain was not sufficiently oxygenated, which was provoked by the lack of
walking and going outside. I felt so toxic with this treatment
that I had the impression that my body smelt like toxicity.
After 6 chemo rounds, I had a surgery where the doctors removed a
full rib and some parts of the other 2. I received a prothesis.
That surgery was the most painful, but in that moment I could
support a mountain on my back, just to come back home to enjoy what
I left behind. I slept one month on a chair, because i felt so so much pain if I
would try to sleep in bed lying. I took so much morphine that I could
sleep all day. After this surgery I had another 8 chemo treatments,
but not so strong, and also radiotherapy.
Although the hardest part has been over, I felt so mentally exhausted that I started to experience panic attacks almost everyday. I felt this attack like a sensation of death, it felt like my whole body didn’t work anymore. I resisted so so so hard from that moment. I just wanted home. I was homesick and this damaged my mental health. I received a lot of help from my oncologist doctor, who is now my friend, because I had no friends out there and I didn’t even make one because of my tiredness. I finished my treatment on October 2018. Now, after one year since my treatment was over, I feel so lucky to be alive, I’m so blessed to live this WONDERFUL LIFE!